


A collection of tears

by Sapphire_Star



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, M/M, One Shot, i write these when its time for those sad boi hours, like just pure angst, which is quite a lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 06:56:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20990699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sapphire_Star/pseuds/Sapphire_Star
Summary: So I cope with my emotions by writing angsty fan fiction about it, this is all of them in one place. They will all be one shots unless people request for them to become their own fic. In which I might post a full story, who knowsenjoy :)





	1. The coach

**Author's Note:**

> So this one is a fic where instead of going into professional skating, Victor coached Yuuri at the start. But of course, theres angst

_ Prologue _

“After the grand Prix, let's end this.”

Victor blinked. “I'm sorry, what?”

** _An hour before_ **

“Here we have rookie Katsuki Yuuri placing first for the short program, all he has to do is perform the free skate even half as good and he's confirmed for a win! While some had their doubts about the Japanese skater being tutored by someone of his same age Nikiforov has pulled it out the hat again.”

“Indeed, this'll be another win to add to his belt. The duo has indeed been a consistent power couple all seas-” Victor drowned out the commentators as he focused on Yuuri, who was leaning on him as the glance up at the scoreboard on one of the screens in the stadium. Victor glanced down and smiled softly at Yuuri's face, happiness shined out of every pore and his eyes glistened with unshed tears of happiness. He turned and looked at Victor, who quickly changed the meaning of the smile into one of pride. “Well done, солнышко! See I told you could do this.”

Yuuri beamed and Victor's heart sped up at the sight. “Thanks, Victor.” He laughed. 

“Hey, let's go out for dinner as a treat.” Victor smiled. 

Yuuri nodded.

**45 minutes before**

They sat in the back booth of a small pancake house opposite the hotel. 

“I don't understand how you can have pancakes as the only food for tea.” Yuuri complained taking a sip from the wine glass next to them. “And I'm also not sure why your letting me drink.” 

“Relax,” Victor said with an easy smile, “The legal drinking age is 18 here.” They sat in comfortable silence as the ate the pancakes.

“It's nice here” Yuuri noted, nodding his head to the window. Victor hummed in agreement, the Grand Prix Final was being held in Amsterdam for the first time. The first snowflakes were falling onto the canals connecting one part of the city to the next. “It would be nice to come on holiday here,” he added.

“We could go during the break before the next competition.” He suggested.

“Yeah, we could.”

**One minute before**

Victor walked over to his hotel bed and sat next to Yuuri. “You wanted to talk?” Victor probed nudging him with his shoulder. His heart was racing. Maybe,  _ finally _ Yuuri was going to ask Victor to stay. Not just for next season or the one after but forever. For them to grow old together and be loving each other the way Victor already did. 

“-this” Yuuri finished looking down at his hands.

“Sorry, I got distracted, what were you saying.” Victor asked his heart hammering as he turned and smiled at Yuuri.

Yuuri swallowed and looked away.

Victor tensed and leaned away.

“After the grand Prix, let's end this.” 

Victor blinked. “I'm sorry, w-what?” He choked out. He stood up and sat opposite Yuuri, who was still refusing to look at him. A tear rolled down his cheek.

“Thank you for everything. Really, thank you for being my coach and my best friend. But… But I need to do this.”

Victor deflated.  _ ‘Best friend’  _ of course. Him and Yuuri were  _ best friends,  _ that's all, nothing more nothing less. A tear fell onto his hand. An ache appeared in his chest. He was  _ stupid _ to think Yuuri would ever want to be anything more. “You're coach and best friend, huh?” His voice sounded flat to his own ears. Yuuri was looking at him now, he was pale. “This is one weird way to show it.” He laughed humorously and looked away. Tears falling thick and fast. Stupid,  _ stupid  _ Victor had pushed away another person from his life yet again, but this time he didn't even know why. He didn't know if he had ever felt more pain, there was no physical damage that could hurt him half as much as this did.

He felt a hand on his forehead. “What are you doing?”

“I'm just surprised to see you cry,” Yuuri replied holding his fridge up to get a better look at his face. Victor smacked the hand away and stood up. Shock plastered on Yuuri’s face.

“Of course I'm crying. I've just lost my best friend and I don't even know why.” Victor hissed. 

“Victor please let me explain. Come back  _ please. _ Victo-” Yuuri was pleading but.

But he was already gone. He walked out and didn't come back. What he might of heard would kill him.

  
  


Yuuri did not win the Grand Prix. 

Victor didn't come see him once. Not before, not during the kiss and cry, not after when he stood broken on 3rd place podium, the bronze heavy on his neck. Not even after the texts and voicemails Yuuri left for him at the banquet. 

Yuuri did not stay in Amsterdam long. The city didn't feel nice anymore. The city felt empty.

A lot changed for Victor at age 18. He was 18 when he started skating professionally. He was 18 and that was his last coaching job. He was 18 and his heart was broken for the first time.


	2. A hidden letter from me to you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure what this is about, I suppose that it can be about whoever you want, from you to them.

Even when I sleep you’re still there,

I can’t get rid of you

But when I stop and think about it do I really want to?

You’re everything I think I want, and, quite possibly a part of what I need.

But you’re not mine, you never will be.

I want you and yet for some reason

You don’t want me.

I wish I knew how to cope

I pine and I hope and I laugh and I joke and yet I still stay the same in your eyes, never changing.

Always me

Never quite enough, like a runner a second off from the finish line or a sentence that's nearly complete but

not

  
  


Why?

Why did it have to be you?

You’re mean and you tease and you hit and you’re not what's ‘good’ for me

So why why did my heart chose you?

You’re mean and yet, you’re not

You’re kind and you’re funny and you make me feel better when I’m down and you make me smile

But   
Do you?

Do you care or is it just me?

Are you the next placeholder in a long line that is everything I want?

Are you another face that I somehow know everything about and yet

I know nothing

Because I don’t know you

I know my idea of you

Right?

It would be so easy to say I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you?

But I don’t

I hate how you make me feel and I hate I’m not enough and I hate that I let my self fall

Again

And again

And again

Over and Over

For you

It always you

Why? 

Why did it have to be you?


End file.
